Voting for Irony

Irony. You know, when somebody uses words that mean one thing but what the person really means to say is something else entirely. Irony can be a highly effective way to point out differences between, say, official policy and reality. And sometimes irony can be very funny when used to express in an ingeniously humorous manner the relationship between seemingly incongruous or disparate things.



We already know from experience that George W. Bush has no sense of irony. He's far too serious for that. But who knew that Colin Powell has a marvelous sense of ironic wit? Look at these two stories from today:

Secretary of State Colin L. Powell said that the voting in Ukraine's presidential election was riddled with fraud and that the United States could not accept a victory by Victor F. Yanukovich as legitimate, warning that there would be "serious consequences" to the American-Ukraine relationship if allegations of fraud were not cleared up. "We cannot accept this result as legitimate because it does not meet international standards and because there has not been an investigation of the numerous and credible reports of fraud and abuse," he said. "It is still not too late for Ukrainian authorities to find a solution that respects the will of the Ukrainian people."

That from the Secretary of State on the same day that the Government Accountability Office (You might remember the "GAO" by its old name, the "Government Accounting Office" which it was called until those ironic fellows in the Republican controlled House renamed it a couple of years ago.):

Congress' investigative agency, Government Accountability Office, responding to complaints from around the country, has begun an investigation of the Nov. 2 vote count. The probe will cover voter registration, voting machine problems and handling of provisional ballots, which were given to voters who said they were eligible to cast votes although their names were not on the rolls. The GAO usually begins investigations in response to specific requests from Congress, but the agency's head, Comptroller General David Walker, said the GAO acted on its own because of the many complaints it received about ballot counting. He noted, however, that the GAO noted cannot enforce the law if voting irregularities are found.

Now that's irony for you: "the GAO acted on its own because of the many comments it received about ballot counting ... the GAO cannot enforce the law if voting irregularities are found."



New York Times - Powell Says Ukraine Vote Was Full of Fraud



Star Tribune (MN) - GAO opens review of voting in response to complaints

Voting for Irony

Irony. You know, when somebody uses words that mean one thing but what the person really means to say is something else entirely. Irony can be a highly effective way to point out differences between, say, official policy and reality. And sometimes irony can be very funny when used to express in an ingeniously humorous manner the relationship between seemingly incongruous or disparate things.



We already know from experience that George W. Bush has no sense of irony. He's far too serious for that. But who knew that Colin Powell has a marvelous sense of ironic wit? Look at these two stories from today:

Secretary of State Colin L. Powell said that the voting in Ukraine's presidential election was riddled with fraud and that the United States could not accept a victory by Victor F. Yanukovich as legitimate, warning that there would be "serious consequences" to the American-Ukraine relationship if allegations of fraud were not cleared up. "We cannot accept this result as legitimate because it does not meet international standards and because there has not been an investigation of the numerous and credible reports of fraud and abuse," he said. "It is still not too late for Ukrainian authorities to find a solution that respects the will of the Ukrainian people."

That from the Secretary of State on the same day that the Government Accountability Office (You might remember the "GAO" by its old name, the "Government Accounting Office" which it was called until those ironic fellows in the Republican controlled House renamed it a couple of years ago.):

Congress' investigative agency, Government Accountability Office, responding to complaints from around the country, has begun an investigation of the Nov. 2 vote count. The probe will cover voter registration, voting machine problems and handling of provisional ballots, which were given to voters who said they were eligible to cast votes although their names were not on the rolls. The GAO usually begins investigations in response to specific requests from Congress, but the agency's head, Comptroller General David Walker, said the GAO acted on its own because of the many complaints it received about ballot counting. He noted, however, that the GAO noted cannot enforce the law if voting irregularities are found.

Now that's irony for you: "the GAO acted on its own because of the many comments it received about ballot counting ... the GAO cannot enforce the law if voting irregularities are found."



New York Times - Powell Says Ukraine Vote Was Full of Fraud



Star Tribune (MN) - GAO opens review of voting in response to complaints

The Ugliest American

George W Bush made a shambles of a state visit to Chile which was intended to counter Latin American talk of American "arrogance."



The Chilean security guards had been stationed at the door for Bush's security, but that didn't deter Bush from shoving his way through the guards and then pushing them out of the way to pull his own armed body guard through. Then, while cameras rolled for a worldwide audience, he made a show of strutting across the foyer, dusting off his sleeves and straightening his shirt.



For an encore Bush haughtily cancelled a state dinner in his honor when Chilean authorities refused U.S. demands that each and every one of the 300 guests, including the president of the Chilean senate, the head of the Chilean supreme court, the top commanders of each branch of the Chilean military and their wives, pass through metal detectors and submit to searches before they being permitted to dine near Bush at the presidential palace in Santiago.



Tell me again: they hate us because we love freedom, right?



Telegraph (UK) - Bush scuffles with Chilean guards at summit



News 24 (South Africa) - Bush cancels dinner date

The Ugliest American

George W Bush made a shambles of a state visit to Chile which was intended to counter Latin American talk of American "arrogance."



The Chilean security guards had been stationed at the door for Bush's security, but that didn't deter Bush from shoving his way through the guards and then pushing them out of the way to pull his own armed body guard through. Then, while cameras rolled for a worldwide audience, he made a show of strutting across the foyer, dusting off his sleeves and straightening his shirt.



For an encore Bush haughtily cancelled a state dinner in his honor when Chilean authorities refused U.S. demands that each and every one of the 300 guests, including the president of the Chilean senate, the head of the Chilean supreme court, the top commanders of each branch of the Chilean military and their wives, pass through metal detectors and submit to searches before they being permitted to dine near Bush at the presidential palace in Santiago.



Tell me again: they hate us because we love freedom, right?



Telegraph (UK) - Bush scuffles with Chilean guards at summit



News 24 (South Africa) - Bush cancels dinner date

Red Neck Nation

First there was that awful moment when that white lady stripped naked and then jumped into that black man's arms on national TV. Sure it was supposed to be only a spoof, but there are some things you just don't joke about, especially on TV when the children are watching!



Then there was George W. Bush, who had to wade in and rescue his bodyguard from that crowd of scruffy little brown people in South America, then strutting away straightening his shirt and dusting off his sleeves only to boycott a state dinner later that evening because the locals wouldn't let the U.S. Secret Service search each one of the foreigners who planned to attend.



That was followed by the upstanding good old boy who threw his beer at one of the black gladiators on the basketball court. The ensuring melee resulted in the suspension of a number of black men from the team but no consequences for the white beer-thrower because, after all, he paid for his court-side seats.



And then there was the Hmong man who shot eight white deer hunters and killed six, after the white people harassed the foreigner (a U.S. citizen and a veteran) and tried to drive him from "their" land.



What is it that these people don't understand about supremacy?



Pioneer Press (MN) Collision of Cultures: Hmong and white hunters have had disputes in the woods

Red Neck Nation

First there was that awful moment when that white lady stripped naked and then jumped into that black man's arms on national TV. Sure it was supposed to be only a spoof, but there are some things you just don't joke about, especially on TV when the children are watching!



Then there was George W. Bush, who had to wade in and rescue his bodyguard from that crowd of scruffy little brown people in South America, then strutting away straightening his shirt and dusting off his sleeves only to boycott a state dinner later that evening because the locals wouldn't let the U.S. Secret Service search each one of the foreigners who planned to attend.



That was followed by the upstanding good old boy who threw his beer at one of the black gladiators on the basketball court. The ensuring melee resulted in the suspension of a number of black men from the team but no consequences for the white beer-thrower because, after all, he paid for his court-side seats.



And then there was the Hmong man who shot eight white deer hunters and killed six, after the white people harassed the foreigner (a U.S. citizen and a veteran) and tried to drive him from "their" land.



What is it that these people don't understand about supremacy?



Pioneer Press (MN) Collision of Cultures: Hmong and white hunters have had disputes in the woods

"Democratically Elected" Bush Regime Overthrown in Military Coup

In the waning hours of the 108th Congress, the democratically elected government of George W. Bush was overthrown in a military coup lead by a coalition including Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and the Pentagon.



Ignoring the outpouring of public support for the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission, and overcoming the strong support of the Bush Administration, the Cheney-Rumsfeld-Pentagon Coalition killed landmark legislation that would have forced the Pentagon, which controls an estimated 80 percent of the government's $40 billion intelligence budget, to cede much of its authority on intelligence issues to a national intelligence director.



The decision to block a vote on the bill, which would have created the job of a cabinet-level national intelligence director to oversee the C.I.A. and the government's other spy agencies, came after what was described as a near-rebellion by a core of highly conservative House Republicans aligned with the Pentagon who were emboldened to oppose their leadership and the White House.



The coup occurred while the recently elected President of the U.S., George W. Bush, was in Chile at a meeting with world leaders where he was seeking support for his planned expansion of U.S. military action against the sovereign governments of Iran, North Korea and Syria.



New York Times - House Leadership Blocks Vote on Intelligence Bill

"Democratically Elected" Bush Regime Overthrown in Military Coup

In the waning hours of the 108th Congress, the democratically elected government of George W. Bush was overthrown in a military coup lead by a coalition including Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and the Pentagon.



Ignoring the outpouring of public support for the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission, and overcoming the strong support of the Bush Administration, the Cheney-Rumsfeld-Pentagon Coalition killed landmark legislation that would have forced the Pentagon, which controls an estimated 80 percent of the government's $40 billion intelligence budget, to cede much of its authority on intelligence issues to a national intelligence director.



The decision to block a vote on the bill, which would have created the job of a cabinet-level national intelligence director to oversee the C.I.A. and the government's other spy agencies, came after what was described as a near-rebellion by a core of highly conservative House Republicans aligned with the Pentagon who were emboldened to oppose their leadership and the White House.



The coup occurred while the recently elected President of the U.S., George W. Bush, was in Chile at a meeting with world leaders where he was seeking support for his planned expansion of U.S. military action against the sovereign governments of Iran, North Korea and Syria.



New York Times - House Leadership Blocks Vote on Intelligence Bill

A world-wide economic meltdown, but by god we've got our moral values

It's the economic nightmare scenario: foreign investors suddenly decide to invest in fewer U.S. assets and begin to sell-off those that they already own. Under this scenario the dollar would plummet, stock prices would plunge and U.S. interest rates would soar. Eventually, as the U.S. becomes unable to afford to buy all those imports, global economic growth stalls plunging the world into an economic depression.



Who dat trash talkin the U.S. economy? Why it's Alan Greenspan, that's who.



Meanwhile, Congress increased the Federal debt ceiling and passed a record Federal spending bill.



But before passing the spending bill they first attached a rider that would make it easier for doctors to refuse to perform abortions for their patients. The abortion language, completely unrelated to the spending bill, bars federal, state and local agencies from withholding taxpayer money from health care providers that refuse to provide or pay for abortions or refuse to offer abortion counseling or referrals. Current federal law, aimed at protecting Roman Catholic doctors, provides such "conscience protection'' to doctors who do not want to undergo abortion training. The new language would expand that protection to all health care providers, including hospitals, doctors, clinics and insurers.



I could not make this stuff up.



The Economic Times (India) - Greenspan joins IMF in urging US to live within its means

A world-wide economic meltdown, but by god we've got our moral values

It's the economic nightmare scenario: foreign investors suddenly decide to invest in fewer U.S. assets and begin to sell-off those that they already own. Under this scenario the dollar would plummet, stock prices would plunge and U.S. interest rates would soar. Eventually, as the U.S. becomes unable to afford to buy all those imports, global economic growth stalls plunging the world into an economic depression.



Who dat trash talkin the U.S. economy? Why it's Alan Greenspan, that's who.



Meanwhile, Congress increased the Federal debt ceiling and passed a record Federal spending bill.



But before passing the spending bill they first attached a rider that would make it easier for doctors to refuse to perform abortions for their patients. The abortion language, completely unrelated to the spending bill, bars federal, state and local agencies from withholding taxpayer money from health care providers that refuse to provide or pay for abortions or refuse to offer abortion counseling or referrals. Current federal law, aimed at protecting Roman Catholic doctors, provides such "conscience protection'' to doctors who do not want to undergo abortion training. The new language would expand that protection to all health care providers, including hospitals, doctors, clinics and insurers.



I could not make this stuff up.



The Economic Times (India) - Greenspan joins IMF in urging US to live within its means

Not again!

So let's see: they cheated by rigging the vote tabulators to give Bush extra votes, but it doesn't matter because they didn't steal enough votes to alter the outcome of the election, so who cares?



A quarter of a million "ghost" votes tallied for Bush on the Diebold electronic voting machines. But there's no paper trail and no need to worry.



Oakland Tribune - Study finds Florida. "ghost" e-votes

Not again!

So let's see: they cheated by rigging the vote tabulators to give Bush extra votes, but it doesn't matter because they didn't steal enough votes to alter the outcome of the election, so who cares?



A quarter of a million "ghost" votes tallied for Bush on the Diebold electronic voting machines. But there's no paper trail and no need to worry.



Oakland Tribune - Study finds Florida. "ghost" e-votes

We want you ... to be one of us!

"When you captured Saddam Hussein, I was very happy, and not fighting Americans, but you used your guns, and your military debased me. I am very angry. I hate all Christians, because you killed my family, my city, and my mosques."



Mahmoud al-Samarrai was irate. After all he'd been through, now he had learned that, having been invited to his Mosque to be given food for what is left of his family, the U.S. soldiers there had secretly taken a swab of his hands to test for the presence of explosives.



The swab process, much like the one in use at U.S. airports, will detect minute traces of explosives left on a terrorist who has handled explosives or fired a gun during the last few days. However, it also will detect those, like Mahmoud, who have merely been trying to clear away the mounds of shells and other debris left over after the U.S. attacked his city and invaded his home.



Forty-seven men were arrested as a result of the tests. Forty-one were eventually released. Six were held for an as yet to be determined period of time on as yet unspecified charges.



Seems like a banner day for al Quaeda recruiters. Wonder how it's going for National Guard recruiters here?



USATODAY - Test nets suspects and enrages Fallujah residents

We want you ... to be one of us!

"When you captured Saddam Hussein, I was very happy, and not fighting Americans, but you used your guns, and your military debased me. I am very angry. I hate all Christians, because you killed my family, my city, and my mosques."



Mahmoud al-Samarrai was irate. After all he'd been through, now he had learned that, having been invited to his Mosque to be given food for what is left of his family, the U.S. soldiers there had secretly taken a swab of his hands to test for the presence of explosives.



The swab process, much like the one in use at U.S. airports, will detect minute traces of explosives left on a terrorist who has handled explosives or fired a gun during the last few days. However, it also will detect those, like Mahmoud, who have merely been trying to clear away the mounds of shells and other debris left over after the U.S. attacked his city and invaded his home.



Forty-seven men were arrested as a result of the tests. Forty-one were eventually released. Six were held for an as yet to be determined period of time on as yet unspecified charges.



Seems like a banner day for al Quaeda recruiters. Wonder how it's going for National Guard recruiters here?



USATODAY - Test nets suspects and enrages Fallujah residents

A Neocon Definition of Victory

The neocons are flushed with victory:

"Bush has never moved away from his policy agenda and since winning reelection has asserted it again. He thinks success is possible in Iraq and he has no intention of allowing Iran to acquire nuclear weapons."



"Bush regards the election as a vindication of his Iraq policy. All the nay-sayers, the doubters, the defeatists have emerged as losers."

Meanwhile in Iraq, days after George W. Bush announced another "mission accomplished" saying that the U.S. had destroyed rebel control of Fallujah, U.S. artillery pummeled the city while American troops hunted guerrillas door-to-door. Further north, where violence has surged since the U.S. assault on Fallujah began, 15 Iraqis were killed and 22 wounded in the oil refining town of Baiji and a suicide car bomber rammed a U.S. convoy, prompting troops to open fire.



Far from facing off in a decisive battle against the resistance fighters, it seems the more Americans squeeze Falluja, the more the violence explodes elsewhere. Scott Ritter, former U.N. inspector describes the U.S. strategy as, "exercises in futility, akin to squeezing jello. The more you try to get a grasp on the problem, the more it slips through your fingers."



Aljazeera (Qatar) - Squeezing jello in Iraq



New York Times - Neoconservatives Gain Strength in New Bush Team

A Neocon Definition of Victory

The neocons are flushed with victory:

"Bush has never moved away from his policy agenda and since winning reelection has asserted it again. He thinks success is possible in Iraq and he has no intention of allowing Iran to acquire nuclear weapons."



"Bush regards the election as a vindication of his Iraq policy. All the nay-sayers, the doubters, the defeatists have emerged as losers."

Meanwhile in Iraq, days after George W. Bush announced another "mission accomplished" saying that the U.S. had destroyed rebel control of Fallujah, U.S. artillery pummeled the city while American troops hunted guerrillas door-to-door. Further north, where violence has surged since the U.S. assault on Fallujah began, 15 Iraqis were killed and 22 wounded in the oil refining town of Baiji and a suicide car bomber rammed a U.S. convoy, prompting troops to open fire.



Far from facing off in a decisive battle against the resistance fighters, it seems the more Americans squeeze Falluja, the more the violence explodes elsewhere. Scott Ritter, former U.N. inspector describes the U.S. strategy as, "exercises in futility, akin to squeezing jello. The more you try to get a grasp on the problem, the more it slips through your fingers."



Aljazeera (Qatar) - Squeezing jello in Iraq



New York Times - Neoconservatives Gain Strength in New Bush Team

US Marine Shoots Dead an Unarmed and Wounded Iraqi Prisoner in a Mosque in Fallujah

Perception is everything.



While Right-wing talk radio in America is excusing it as an "inevitable consequence of war," much of the rest of the world is reporting the facts: a day after mortally wounding and then leaving them for dead, a group of U.S. Marines returned to the Mosque and finished the job by shooting the Iraqis in the head.



It kind of makes you wonder, if some Americans in a church had been wounded and then shot execution style a day later, under what conditions would we call it a consequence of war?



Aljazeera (Qatar) - Marine filmed killing Iraqi prisoner

US Marine Shoots Dead an Unarmed and Wounded Iraqi Prisoner in a Mosque in Fallujah

Perception is everything.



While Right-wing talk radio in America is excusing it as an "inevitable consequence of war," much of the rest of the world is reporting the facts: a day after mortally wounding and then leaving them for dead, a group of U.S. Marines returned to the Mosque and finished the job by shooting the Iraqis in the head.



It kind of makes you wonder, if some Americans in a church had been wounded and then shot execution style a day later, under what conditions would we call it a consequence of war?



Aljazeera (Qatar) - Marine filmed killing Iraqi prisoner

What is it about right-wingers and Homos?

For years a small school in Texas has held a day each year when girls dress as boys and vice versa. Nobody seems to be able to remember how it got started or why, but it was all in fun ... until this year.



"It's like experimenting with drugs," said a mother. "You just keep playing with it and it becomes customary. ... If it's OK to dress like a girl today, then why is it not OK in the future?"



"I don't think it was a liberal agenda," said another parent, a 35-year-old mother of eight biological and foster children. "I think it was just foolishness, just being funny, being silly, but it opens the door for other things to happen."



And so the school is now allowing the children to dress in military camouflage instead.



As Woodburydadd's West Coast correspondent noted, as hard as it may to believe, this is not from The Onion.



Houston Chronicle - Texas school district nixes 'cross-dressing day'

What is it about right-wingers and Homos?

For years a small school in Texas has held a day each year when girls dress as boys and vice versa. Nobody seems to be able to remember how it got started or why, but it was all in fun ... until this year.



"It's like experimenting with drugs," said a mother. "You just keep playing with it and it becomes customary. ... If it's OK to dress like a girl today, then why is it not OK in the future?"



"I don't think it was a liberal agenda," said another parent, a 35-year-old mother of eight biological and foster children. "I think it was just foolishness, just being funny, being silly, but it opens the door for other things to happen."



And so the school is now allowing the children to dress in military camouflage instead.



As Woodburydadd's West Coast correspondent noted, as hard as it may to believe, this is not from The Onion.



Houston Chronicle - Texas school district nixes 'cross-dressing day'

Cross Purposes

A suburban fellow, who voted for Kerry, was wondering why people had been befuddled by the "Christians for Kerry" bumper sticker that he was now anxiously peeling off of his SUV. "Not all Christians believe abortion and embryonic stem-cell research are murder. Not all Christians believe marriage is limited to the union of a man and a woman. Not all Christians believe a commander in chief who prays should never change his mind or admit a mistake. Not all Christians believe the only thing that matters ultimately is an individual's personal relationship with Jesus," he complained.



Oh really? Then perhaps you can explain the letter Bob Jones III, president of the private, fundamentalist Bob Jones University sent to George W. Bush:

"In your re-election, God has graciously granted America -- though she doesn't deserve it -- a reprieve from the agenda of paganism. You have been given a mandate. We the people expect your voice to be like the clear and certain sound of a trumpet. Because you seek the Lord daily, we who know the Lord will follow that kind of voice eagerly."

Or maybe you've noticed the instant and intense attack on Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA), an abortion rights supporter and likely Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, by Christians intent on packing the courts with judges who will represent "Christian values."

"He (Senator Specter) is a problem, and he must be derailed," said Dr. James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family. And what about Patrick Leahy (D-VT), former Chair of the Judiciary Committee? Dobson told The Daily Oklahoman that "Patrick Leahy is a 'God's people-hater.'" When it was pointed out that was not a particularly Christian thing to say about the ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, Dobson shot back, "I don't know if he hates God, but he hates God's people. Do you think you ought to lecture me on what a Christian is all about?"

It is a fact that most Americans attend church with some regularity. And it certainly seems that most Americans would really like to believe what they hear there. But if they are honest, most Americans would admit that they have their doubts. They notice that what they hear from the pulpit does not square with what they see on the street and in their lives. And they wonder when they learn that in the "Red States" teenage pregnancy rates are about double those of the "Blue States" despite the high priority placed on religious values in the "Red States." But while they wonder and seek answers, they continue to attend church, or at least send their children to church, because it's "the right thing to do," even though they really cannot tell you exactly why.



Time to wake up to a harsh new reality: America has become a place where you are no longer allowed to have doubts or nuanced beliefs about religion. Where once you had a guaranteed right to thoughtfully determine your own beliefs, now you are either saved or damned, the choice is yours. Indeed, god has a plan for you, the Christians are all too eager to tell you what god's plan is, and then you can accept it or go, literally, to hell.



If you want to call yourself a Christian these days, then you'd have to deal with this new fact: the likes of James Dobson and Bob Jones are your people.



But, consider this: if you can't bring yourself to buy into the bible thumping fundamentalist Christian view of the world, then perhaps you are not a Christian. After all Christians say that in order to use the name of their lord you must buy into their whole story, not just the parts that seem innocuous and comfortable on Sunday morning.



Sadly, in the new America it's not enough to believe in and work for "the ideals of Jesus." And, after all that has been done in the name of Christianity, if you still insist on calling yourself a Christian you'd better be willing to heed your brethren because if you don't they have a plan for you that's the same as their plan for the rest of us Pagans.



The Day (CT) - After A Hard-Fought Election Victory, Evangelicals Want Faith Rewarded

Cross Purposes

A suburban fellow, who voted for Kerry, was wondering why people had been befuddled by the "Christians for Kerry" bumper sticker that he was now anxiously peeling off of his SUV. "Not all Christians believe abortion and embryonic stem-cell research are murder. Not all Christians believe marriage is limited to the union of a man and a woman. Not all Christians believe a commander in chief who prays should never change his mind or admit a mistake. Not all Christians believe the only thing that matters ultimately is an individual's personal relationship with Jesus," he complained.



Oh really? Then perhaps you can explain the letter Bob Jones III, president of the private, fundamentalist Bob Jones University sent to George W. Bush:

"In your re-election, God has graciously granted America -- though she doesn't deserve it -- a reprieve from the agenda of paganism. You have been given a mandate. We the people expect your voice to be like the clear and certain sound of a trumpet. Because you seek the Lord daily, we who know the Lord will follow that kind of voice eagerly."

Or maybe you've noticed the instant and intense attack on Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA), an abortion rights supporter and likely Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, by Christians intent on packing the courts with judges who will represent "Christian values."

"He (Senator Specter) is a problem, and he must be derailed," said Dr. James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family. And what about Patrick Leahy (D-VT), former Chair of the Judiciary Committee? Dobson told The Daily Oklahoman that "Patrick Leahy is a 'God's people-hater.'" When it was pointed out that was not a particularly Christian thing to say about the ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, Dobson shot back, "I don't know if he hates God, but he hates God's people. Do you think you ought to lecture me on what a Christian is all about?"

It is a fact that most Americans attend church with some regularity. And it certainly seems that most Americans would really like to believe what they hear there. But if they are honest, most Americans would admit that they have their doubts. They notice that what they hear from the pulpit does not square with what they see on the street and in their lives. And they wonder when they learn that in the "Red States" teenage pregnancy rates are about double those of the "Blue States" despite the high priority placed on religious values in the "Red States." But while they wonder and seek answers, they continue to attend church, or at least send their children to church, because it's "the right thing to do," even though they really cannot tell you exactly why.



Time to wake up to a harsh new reality: America has become a place where you are no longer allowed to have doubts or nuanced beliefs about religion. Where once you had a guaranteed right to thoughtfully determine your own beliefs, now you are either saved or damned, the choice is yours. Indeed, god has a plan for you, the Christians are all too eager to tell you what god's plan is, and then you can accept it or go, literally, to hell.



If you want to call yourself a Christian these days, then you'd have to deal with this new fact: the likes of James Dobson and Bob Jones are your people.



But, consider this: if you can't bring yourself to buy into the bible thumping fundamentalist Christian view of the world, then perhaps you are not a Christian. After all Christians say that in order to use the name of their lord you must buy into their whole story, not just the parts that seem innocuous and comfortable on Sunday morning.



Sadly, in the new America it's not enough to believe in and work for "the ideals of Jesus." And, after all that has been done in the name of Christianity, if you still insist on calling yourself a Christian you'd better be willing to heed your brethren because if you don't they have a plan for you that's the same as their plan for the rest of us Pagans.



The Day (CT) - After A Hard-Fought Election Victory, Evangelicals Want Faith Rewarded

It's too late! This religious zealot has already been appointed.

The e-mail, currently making the rounds, conveys real urgency:

Important Women's Health Issue



Whether you're Right or Left on the issue of women's reproductive rights, please consider the following...



President Bush has announced his plan to select Dr. W. David Hager to head up the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. The committee has not met for more than two years, during which time its charter has lapsed. As a result, the Bush Administration is tasked with filling all eleven positions with new members. This position does not require Congressional approval.

Dr. W. David Hager, an obstetrician-gynecologist, is indeed an extreme zealot. He is author of a book entitled As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now, as well as another, Stress and the Woman's Body, which puts "an emphasis on the restorative power of Jesus Christ in one's life" and recommends specific bible readings and prayers for such ailments as headaches and premenstrual syndrome. Dr. Hager also routinely refuses to write prescriptions for birth control pills for his unmarried patients.



The problem is Bush has already appointed Hager, in December 2002, and re-appointed him in June of 2004.



Urban Legends Reference Pages: Politics (W. David Hager)

It's too late! This religious zealot has already been appointed.

The e-mail, currently making the rounds, conveys real urgency:

Important Women's Health Issue



Whether you're Right or Left on the issue of women's reproductive rights, please consider the following...



President Bush has announced his plan to select Dr. W. David Hager to head up the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. The committee has not met for more than two years, during which time its charter has lapsed. As a result, the Bush Administration is tasked with filling all eleven positions with new members. This position does not require Congressional approval.

Dr. W. David Hager, an obstetrician-gynecologist, is indeed an extreme zealot. He is author of a book entitled As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now, as well as another, Stress and the Woman's Body, which puts "an emphasis on the restorative power of Jesus Christ in one's life" and recommends specific bible readings and prayers for such ailments as headaches and premenstrual syndrome. Dr. Hager also routinely refuses to write prescriptions for birth control pills for his unmarried patients.



The problem is Bush has already appointed Hager, in December 2002, and re-appointed him in June of 2004.



Urban Legends Reference Pages: Politics (W. David Hager)

The Victorious Exterminators of Fallujah

It is not the first time that genocide has been the unofficial policy of the U.S. government, nor is it the first time that we haven't given a thought to the toll on the soldiers who eventually return to try to lead "normal" lives here at home. Nevertheless, we are about to declare victory in Fallujah.



Of course, George W. Bush will argue that he is merely "fighting the terrorists there instead of here." And while he may really believe that, he's missing two critical points.



First, the "terrorists" (or "insurgents," or "revolutionaries," or "guerrillas" -- we've used different labels depending upon the circumstances) this time are much more mobile and, frankly, have got much better information than ever before, which makes it foolish to believe that distance alone will keep them from us. In the past it was simply not possible for a Vietcong cell to arrange travel to the U.S., and there wasn't much chance that freedom fighters in the Congo would envision bringing their battle to Omaha.



And, second, realistically we will never be able to kill or imprison all of our enemies, which means we've got to find another way.



But why seek another way when victory is ours!?!



And so, instead of looking for lasting solutions we're treated to what has been unfolding in Fallujah these last few days: "Hey! There's nobody here! Wonder where they went? Oh, but look, here are "torture rooms" and other paraphernalia (never mind the suspicious looking piles of the exact same weapons that we gave to the "loyal" Iraqis just a few weeks ago). So see, it was good that we liberated this city," ... while the reality is that "they" have blended back into "their" society to live and fight another day.



Nevertheless, we'll celebrate another glorious victory in George W. Bush's War on Terror.



And those Americans who aren't killed first will return home eventually. And the ones who don't have their legs amputated on the way will walk among us for the rest of their lives trying to shake off the nightmares of the things they did in Iraq ... like first taking over the hospitals and then exterminating every living thing in a city ... things they did because we told them to.



Sydney Morning Herald (AU) - Victories Rooted in Barren Ground: The forthcoming election in Iraq will be as hollow as the latest US triumph there



Seattle Post-Intelligencer - Attack on Fallujah Can't Be Justified