A vampire is running for governor of the North Star State. How would we know? Jonathan "The Imapler" Sharkey held a news conference last week announcing his campaign for governor and let us know he's a vampire.
Sharkey seems quite earnest and, although he really needs a good Web designer, his call for impaling criminals just might catch on.
Chances are no one would ever have heard of Jonathan the Imapler except that a local TV station decided that it would be a fun story, and so they covered the news conference where, in addition to announcing his candidacy, he explained that he's a moderate sort of vampire, "I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus, I just hate God the Father," and who drinks only his wife's blood.
And then the reporter mentioned that the Impaler's wife is, herself, a pagan ...
... and two days later she was fired from her job as a school bus driver,
... and a day after that they were evicted from their home.
Thank god they weren't gay.
Impaler to Run for Governor - KSTP
Princeton Witch Disputes Hiring - KSTP
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